I denied it so many times but the truth was I loved him. He had this hold on me that I just couldn't shake. Despite being in a long term relationship thoughts of him plagued me day and night. I knew the two of us would never work . . . . . could never work but I was drawn to him all the same.
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He invited me to stay over one evening while his parents were away and I just couldn't say no. I lied to my parents, I lied to my boyfriend and I got a girlfriend and her parents to cover for me. To this day it remains one of the most elaborate lies I've ever told.
Nothing physical happened that evening but the act of touching one anothers hands in the dark was an intimate experience that I won't soon forget. I never told him how I felt for fear of getting hurt but I'm sure deep down he knew.
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Love can really make you do crazy things, or things you normally would never do. It's scary how much power love can have over someone, especially if it's not admitted to one another.
ReplyDeleteCrazy is right.
DeleteI have no doubt that he did indeed know. I even suspect he may have had something to say to you as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting when you're young how hard it is to articulate what you want to say or feel. Guess that kind of confidence comes with age although I'm still pretty bad at it which is why I write.
DeleteLove, I have always maintained, is far more powerful than hate. It robs you of common sense sometimes and drives you to do things that might be wrong but seem so right. And like Jason said, something tells me he wasn't oblivious. And that you weren't alone in your feelings.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully told ♥
Thanks Stereo. You're right . . . . common sense goes right out the window!
DeleteOh, my heart.
ReplyDeleteI've read this a few times now and am so enchanted (even though your story is infused with sadness too) that I'm going to let it be the last thing I read tonight. I don't want anything else to get in the way.
What a beautiful comment, thank you Kim.
DeleteLove makes us do the craziest things. :)
ReplyDeleteIt really does.
DeleteThe lies we tell in the face of love. I vied for someone's affections for 5 years before I learned my lesson and cut her out of my life. I feel better for it now, though.
ReplyDeleteIt does feel good when you finally move on, like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders (not to mention you heart).
DeleteOooh, steamy dish. You wild woman! Sounds like this wasn't lasting, but you never had a sense of the "what ifs". Lovely memory to have.
ReplyDeleteThanks for cluing me in about this project. I would like to do it, but I'm just maxed out at the moment. I'll enjoy reading you and a few others I know who are participating.
Lying for love. I think we have all been there - telling our parents stories just to be with "him".
ReplyDeleteYou're right, I don't think I really started lying to my parents properly until boys were involved!
DeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lisa, I'm so glad I don't have children. I think I'd be a nervous wreck. I know what I got up to and I was the good child!
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