Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Where Despair Resides


'Frustration' simmers under the surface, a permanent resident these days.  'Pressure', usually happy to simmer alongside decides today is not that day.  Working itself into a frenzy it froths and bubbles spilling over into a caustic puddle.
 
Sidestepping them 'Patience' holds out its arms, cradling her as it tries to soothe.  Relaxing into the embrace she begins to feel 'Patience' pulling away, running in circles around her before bolting towards the horizon.  Catching hold of an entrail she grips tight but feels 'Patience' grow taught in her hand . . . stretched to the point of breaking. 
 
'Irritable' and 'Cranky' are close by and launch themselves onto either shoulder for a better view.  Making themselves comfortable, settling in for the duration.  Cocking her ear she listens for the familiar 'twang', bracing herself for the jolt backwards as she realizes this sudden movement is the snapping point.  There lying at her feet she finds 'Patience' in pieces on the floor.
 
Closing her eyes she takes a deep breath and opens them again only to wish she'd kept them closed.  For in the distance is the 'Pit of Despair' with its strange allure.  Whispered promises swirl around her reminiscent of a sirens song.  They encourage her to draw closer, to dip her toes into the inky black hole.  But she's travelled this path before, she knows upon breaking the surface it will claw and tug at her clothing, pulling her under with the strength of quicksand.
 
She's heard of detours to avoid it but can she remember.  Wracking her brain she finds it lacking.  It's contents marred.  Shooting a flare into the night sky she hopes to draw 'Sleep's' attention for 'Sleep' has the power to help.  Trouble is its vision and hearing aren't quite what they used to be.  Will 'Sleep' see the flare?  Will it recognise it for what it is . . . a call for help?  She sits and waits as day turns to night and the trail of the flare becomes nothing more than a spec in the sky.

9 comments:

  1. A beautiful and complex image. It reflects my despair and confusion right now as my daughter battles depression and thoughs of suicide - something there was no hint of and never saw coming. I can feel your journey through your beautiful and haunting words. I'm sending thoughts of healing and strength your way. When you have some strength to spare, please send some back my way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, what a beautiful photo, just wow. And wow, on the writing - you have such a way with words, very powerful! I have had days when I have felt just like this . . .

    ReplyDelete
  3. My heavens, what an amazing image Kathryn! I commend you on your artistic imagination, both visually and verbally!

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is one amazing photo! But I am sorry to hear that you have had visits from all these not-so-welcome friends. ANd I hope sleep finds you very soon. Feel better. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. So much emotion and pain here. I hope sleep came and found you. You are in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Brenda . . . I started writing a completely different type of post but ended up here, almost like something I had to purge. Sleep did find me last night, albeit reluctantly. x

      Delete
  6. Amazing image and very moving words. Glad you found sleep and hope you are having a lovely weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The image is beautiful, the thoughts haunting. I've felt that way. Patience always bounces back somehow, even when I shatter it. I hope today is better.

    P.s. Don't read Dogs of Babel when you are sad -- it's a sad book, okay?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lisa, posts like these seem to write themselves as though there is something inside just waiting to get out. I don't know how the words found themselves on the computer screen but there they were. Thankfully I am only able to write about this kind of thing when the feelings have passed, today is a good day.

      Hopefully the Dogs of Babel will be here soon. I'll be sure not to read it when I feel low.

      Delete