Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Erasure Poem


two black monkeys
swagger after man
uttering little between cuts
 
rounded out vocals not easy to hear
the visual as red strobes cutting
too hard
 
pacing, wrapping the cord
around his neck
on this night
the mind would have been wrong
 
The Challenge:  Go to your local news source, be it a newspaper or website and write an erasure poem from a local news story which posted today. 
 
Linking up with Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

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For your chance to win a copy of  'The Edge Of Silence: a collection of poetry and prose' click HERE.
 

21 comments:

  1. ouch! ouch. this is quite visual and hurts a bit.

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  2. Such dark yet curious imagery..i pictured actual monkeys..as well as the arctic kind!

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    1. for some reason my mind went to animal testing

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  3. Oh, this is an excellent bit of madness!

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    1. excellent madness . . . I like that.

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  4. whew. I think the deep dark of the concert surround when we look at the light REQUIRES such erasure, cutting, edgy movement into the wild. Needless to say It's been decades since I've been to a pop or rock fully-loaded concert.

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  5. Very creative and a little spooky.

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  6. dang....dark path he decided to walk....
    i kept coming back to the two black monkeys
    which haunted him...

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  7. I stayed with the punk vein, then your comment, and the light came on. absolutely. ~

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    1. This piece was deliberately ambiguous . . . I always love to see how people interpret what they read. Much the same way as art.

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  8. I most like the way you wove in the last two lines at the end of this rather macabre piece.

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  9. Ohhhhhh, how brilliant! Thanks for participating in the out of standard...I really like the poem you uncovered!

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  10. Really nice, Kathryn ~~ I hadn't heard of the Artic Monkeys. Of course I haven't heard but a little since the 70's, just a little bit in the 80's. I am eating up the Beatles remembrances today.
    Your last bit about the cord around one of the singer's neck has me worried. I am sure your erasure left it that way from something not so scary. I will get my magnifying glass after posting here.
    ..

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  11. Brilliant choices. I pictured chasing monkeys, a return to the source.
    How did you ever eschew "orwell"?

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  12. that last stanza - glad to know this was taken from an article about a concert otherwise it would have left my heart heavy.

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  13. Oh! The murderous monkeys... great description. It would make a striking news story as well. Well-penned.
    -HA

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    1. Could you just image it as a news story that would get people talking.

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  14. Ah, the revenge of the test-lab monkeys!

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