there's blood on my conscience
not on my hands
still I gaze at them in disbelief
reliving grey fur blurred
under a break neck wheel
the thud of a wish not granted
stomach turned inside out
lurching towards speech
catching on the lump in my throat
before swallowing it back down
looking in the rear view mirror
at paws pointing the wrong way
I die a little inside
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Spectacular - this was brilliantly executed..so poetic, great use of form, terseness, and alliteration. You conveyed more than the scene, the emotion was palpable.
ReplyDeleteThank you . . . it was hard to convey just how soul destroying this was.
DeleteGoodness that must have been a bloody scene ~ I hate when I accidentally run over some poor creatures ~ I too die a little inside ~
ReplyDeleteThankfully there wasn't too much blood. I've been in the USA for almost 10 years now and that is the first time I've hit something. It broke my heart.
DeleteKathryn-- I may have lost my comment. This is lovely-- so powerful and sad and describes that thud so well. K.
ReplyDeleteMost people know that awful thud sound. It's what made me come undone.
DeleteOh you describe the awful scene and your emotions brilliantly...sadly, tragically...so very sorry.
ReplyDeleteThank you, it broke my heart.
Delete"the thud of a wish not granted"
ReplyDeleteThat is truly an inspired line, there is such finality in those words that just hit you. You captured quite the scene in a very vivid but heartfelt way. Those little gray buggers are everywhere in the Fall, have had many a close call myself.
So many people can relate to that thud, it made me feel physically sick.
DeleteOh, this is so sad. It would be such a hard memory if one realized that one had inadvertently hurt / killed one of nature's creatures; but I know it can happen in the blink of an eye.
ReplyDeleteI felt so good about saving a frog from our pool that morning so when the squirrel darted out in front of the car and despite the breaking I couldn't stop in time it broke my heart.
DeleteI once hit a deer, enough to damage the car, but I never knew what happened to the poor creature that managed to scamper away. To this day, I hope I did not kill it.
ReplyDeleteGabriella, that must have been such a traumatic experience. Glad to hear you were ok.
Deletei'm there with you... those things happen so fast... such compassion you have... love your header too
ReplyDeleteThank you, they really do happen so fast.
DeleteDramatic moment in life...described with compassion...'I die a little inside' ~ I see every day poor creatures along the roads, hit by the cars...so sad. x
ReplyDeleteWe ride along gladly every day until this terrible things happen.. And even after we have left those stains remain... Actually I feel the same sorrow just passing those balls of fur tossed aside.. Great writing and so precise in the feeling.
ReplyDeleteEarlier in the day I saved a frog from the basket in our pool. Can't believe I've been here 10 years without ever hitting a creature until today. I mourn for road kill so it was devastating.
Deleteoh wow - that is an excellent metaphor kathryn - well executed and full of strong images and emotion
ReplyDeleteFeel your pain here! Sad to say I think everyone who drives or rides in a car regret these emotional occurrences. Full of emotion here for any thud.
ReplyDeleteThe worst is trying to brake and knowing you're not going to be able to stop in time.
DeleteI totally relate to your experience. It is so sad when we accidentally kill an animal. I grieve with you.
ReplyDeleteIt really is heartbreaking.
DeleteI especially like that you have left this open-ended, so the reader can feel all the possibilities in the things which we wish to avert but can't, which stain us and wreck us. Just excellent.
ReplyDeleteVery well penned. Exquisite use of metaphor x
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Deletethat is a horrific sound - and once that ground is covered, there is not much going back.
ReplyDeleteThe sound pierces the heart.
DeleteKathryn, I've felt those emotions before as well and you made them come alive through your well-chosen words. One of the most terrible things I've seen (but thankfully had no part in) was a hawk floating beautifully over the highway...and then a semi came from nowhere and the hawk smashed into it and plunged to the road. I had tears in my eyes.
ReplyDeletejanet
That sounds like something out of a horror movie. I'd have been crying too.
DeleteI once ran over a mother cat (she had milk) and I searched the farm's barn but no luck. The farm boy said she had just had the kittens and they would remain quiet wherever she had them "safe"… I have NEVER forgotten it. The looking back in the rearview mirror stanza is particularly affective. (effective?) I'm not a grammar head…
ReplyDeleteA couple of weeks ago I hit a turtle on the way home from seeing my mom. I cried for days. I still hear that terrible thud in my sleep.
ReplyDeleteoof, this one is so visceral, you really captured that awful feeling. really powerful.
ReplyDelete