Self Portrait by Kathryn Dyche Dechairo
I didn't know
I would spent a year in excruciating pain
I didn't know
the depths it would take me too
I didn't know
how debilitating pain could be
I didn't know
how much strength I possessed
I didn't know
the majority of medicines would prove ineffective
I didn't know
if life was worth living
I didn't know
I would contemplate suicide
I didn't know
that my husband would save me
I didn't know
I'd be here a year later writing this post
I didn't know . . . . .
I wish you no more pain. I wish you complete healing. I hate you must go through this but I am eternally grateful for your husband and his love for you. Take care, my friend. You inspire. You are strong and you are fantastic.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tracy, I hope that one day it will disappear completely but for now I am thankful that it's not as excruciating as it once was and that I no longer find myself in dark place. x
DeleteWow. I hope the pain has lessened and it's merely the memory of it that creeps into your creativity to provoke such strong and compelling art.
ReplyDeleteStay inspired!
I so understand where you are at,may you start to feel better. I too have the face pain now it is in my hands and feet numbness and tingleing and I am going to a chiro. and massage therapy now hoping this will help bc I do not want to take meds. take care
ReplyDeleteHow heart-breakingly emotional. Your artistic creation captures that dark place and the pain in such a visceral way. I am glad that you have made your way back from that precipice.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure many find these new creations a little dark but it feels good to create from a personal place, healing in a way too.
DeleteSo tender..moving..powerful. Your art speaks as loudly as your words. Beautiful and brave!
ReplyDeleteThank you Marcie, they say 'art heals' and beginning to think that's true.
DeleteWow powerful. Really powerful, your words and your art piece. While I understand the struggle of illness, I am blessed that mine normally isn't physically painful, just emotionally so. The frustration comes no matter the cause or result.
ReplyDeleteThere is a song, or poem, or something that this "I didn't know...." is triggering in my mind. It must be in the deep dark depths as I can't recall it presently (or it's early on-set alzheimers). If I figure it out later, I'll share.
Maybe you didn't know how much you could endure-yet it is/was even more than you thought.
Kathryn, to go through this and come out of the other side and be able to write this (along with the other post on this subject) is such a testament to your resilience and strength. Love to you and to your husband.
ReplyDeleteThis is so powerful....and the artwork is too! I hope all your pain goes away completely. Here's to better days.
ReplyDeleteYour words are always so powerful...I am so glad that at least it's manageable for you now, but pray that that it never gets that bad again. Well, really, I pray it just goes away!! xo
ReplyDeleteI often read your posts Kathryn but don't always feel I have anything I can say to make things better for you. I'm so glad that your husband was there for you and that you are here now to tell the story. Life is good. xo
ReplyDeleteThat's ok, showing up means a lot. It's been a big part of my life for the past two years so it finds its way into my posts. I have good days and bad days (like the last two) but thankfully they are not as excruciating as they once were. There is nothing anyone can do to make it better but being part of the blogging community helps. I has also provided inspiration (even if a little on the dark side) for my artwork and it feels good to be creating from a personal place.
DeleteThanks for taking the time to comment and for being here.
Your artwork expresses your feelings so well. And I wish that you had never had to know any of this... xoxo
ReplyDeleteSo powerful K.
ReplyDeleteYour work is amazing and your writing inspiring :)
I would love to work with you on a project at some point :)
Even though our paths have been different the questions are the same.
Have a lovely day, cheers, T. :)
There is an abundance of love in every post I have read here so far tonight.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am so glad you had that love when you were going through such horrible pain.
I'm sorry you went through such a difficult time. May the future look brighter for you, my friend!
Kathryn, this is so honest, and moving, and painful. I've shared with you before about my own chronic pain and the years of white-knuckled getting through. You express that experience so well, better than I could. I hope today is a good day for you. xoxo lisa
ReplyDeleteThanks Lisa . . . it can be hard for people to read these type of posts or look at the art I've created which represents that pain but the writing, the artwork . . . they help and I'm sure there are so many others out there like yourself that can relate. I just hope that anyone else suffering with chronic pain knows they are not alone.
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