fear oozes
through the cracks in our voice
striking us dumb
with the tying of tongue
amid the white pallid hue
of a sheet washed
one too many times
hairs stand to attention
in goose bump formation
twisting in turmoil
the limits of our sanity
leading us weak knee'd
to the corner of wits end
where frayed nerves
are overpowered
with the stiff stench of fear
and back bones
jump out of skin
long discarded as shadow
hypersensitive pain
s~t ~r~e~t~c~h~i~n~g
into the fear
that hooks us tender
Linking up with Imaginary Garden With Real Toads
This works very well as a mood piece - the tension you have created is palpable to the reader, and you leave much up to the blurred edges of imagination.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kerry, I really appreciate your comments.
Deletewait, Kerry, i was going to say that. did you read my notes? good write kathryn
ReplyDeleteThanks Marcoantonio :)
Deleteyou've built it up bit by bit and we could touch and feel it....so nicely done...
ReplyDeleteThanks, I enjoyed working on this piece.
DeleteWow! That moment, when despite general numbness we are hooked, despite being washed too often we are again engaged,on alert, fear giving us spine and poor sensors from our wildness. Pain.
ReplyDeletepore, not poor!
Delete"stretching into the fear that hooks us tender"....fantastic closing lines.......
ReplyDeleteI love that title, and the use of it at the end. Your portrait of fear is vividly painted and the mood and tone of the piece allows you to imagine the hair on your arms standing on end. A cool take on the prompt, loved it!
ReplyDeletenice...i like the hooks us tender...fear will rob us of many things...and it knows our soft spots and where it can get us...
ReplyDeleteThe way fear build on fear.. Like a snowball building rolling down a hill... The mechanism of fear is so well described.
ReplyDelete*shudders* Yes, you really made me feel this one! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI deeply felt the shuddering fear.
ReplyDeleteChilling ... to the bone. Awesome ...
ReplyDeletepain stretching to fear... this makes me feel a bit of fear myself.
ReplyDeleteI specially love that ending lines ~ Fear & pain stretching into fear ~ Love that blue/black imagery ~
ReplyDeleteThank you Grace :)
DeleteI lived fear most of my young life....I understand this so well. Brilliant write!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that Susie. :( Hugs xox
DeleteToo late for Sominex, it sounds like. Yeesh, what a night. There is nothing more miserable than being in pain or afraid in the darkness.
ReplyDeleteI could almost feel the chills here. Very nicely written, Kathryn.
ReplyDeleteJust last week I read someone's theory that stress from situations is actually good for one's health as they put the body systems through exercise routines, including a cardiac 'stress'. The writer did say that chronic stress is NOT good.