Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Purple Hummingbirds



bright purple hummingbirds
mind manifested
swarm

until

punctured by pain
reality slips to reveal
a mind gone rogue

freaked out
panicked
I struggle to assemble
the distortion of perception
before hysteria engulfs me


I've never done recreational drugs but after a surgery I was given some narcotics.  While they did nothing for the pain they did make me hallucinate.  I know some people pay for the experience but all it did was freak me out. 

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32 comments:

  1. yikes...whn i had oral surgery once they gave me this stuff that was really sick...and i am gla di have not had to take it since...had a hummer buzz me the other day...i was standing on the porch looking at something and it just popped up and hovered right in front of me...and scared me...ha

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    1. I don't do well with meds, get too much in my system no matter how low the dose. It was bizarre to see a swarm of hummingbirds in my living room. It can be scary when things pop and hover like that.

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  2. To me I prefer a good nightmare to any of drug induced experience (though a purple hummingbird sounds nice - at least till you see its talons)

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    1. Bjorn, I'm with you. My metabolism is such that I get too much drug in my system no matter how low the dose. The purple hummingbirds were pretty until I realized what was happening to me and I was trying to fight through the drugs rather than go with it.

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  3. A painful experience spoken so well through poetry...I have experienced hallucinations from drugs I was given after a brain injury....I never want to experience anything like it again!

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    1. One of the things that freaked me out the most was the feeling that things were going to get stuck that way. It must have been especially scary after having a brain injury! Fingers crossed you never have to go through that again.

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  4. i remember a day beyond terror every day..a glimpse of a humming bird is truly then a dream of freedom..punctured...yes by reality moments later..

    but today
    i don't have to dream about hummingbirds or see them to escape..

    i am the humming bird.
    i fly free..
    without ever fearing
    gravity
    or
    pain...:)

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  5. that distorted perception is very frightening....

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  6. Picture and words excellently portrayed the hallucination effects ~ A mind gone rogue is terrifying ~

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  7. If one doesn't realise what's happening it is frightening.

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  8. I had major surgery on my wrist at 12, that was highest + weirdest time for me afterwards. Loved the bright purple hummingbirds imagery :)

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    1. to be trippy at 12, that must have been quite the experience

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  9. I guess this would be a beautiful trip, if you have to go tripping. Incredible images both in words and art/photo.

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    1. It was mesmerizing until I thought about it too much and started fighting what was happening.

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  10. guess you're glad to have landed. the hummingbird flies forward and backward, so it wasn't just you!

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    1. most definitely, I hate being out of control.

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  11. wow, really powerful image & words

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  12. Not a nice experience! ... but an inspiration to a good poem. I like how the struggle is marked by "p" sounds giving: purple, punctured, pain, slips, panicked, perception.

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    1. I hadn't thought of that but yes . . . I can see it. Cool that you noticed this.

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  13. THAT is a super super cool image.

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  14. Miro loved to paint in this state, or so other surrealists say about him. I'd rather keep my feet on the ground. The stark contrasts here work. Very moving.

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  15. It's such a scary feeling, to have no control over the drug and to feel so unlike your self. Your poem captures this feeling well.

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    1. Definitely the feeling of lack of control and wondering if I was going to be stuck that way.

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  16. A nice poem, Kathryn. Blue hummingbirds might be okay until the freaking out. I'd rather neither.
    This is weird feeling, being freaked out. I loved the lines, "I struggle to assemble
    the distortion of perception
    ." I once too was freaked out by pain meds and was rolling around on the floor. No way could reassemble myself. Somehow Mrs. Jim got me to the couch.
    But then later, with my knee joint implant, I was hooked on Vicodin. That was quite pleasant and it was sooo hard to get off. I would run red lights or go to sleep at them through green lights. I was wild playing dominoes (Texas 42 game) with our group.
    ..

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    1. I hear you about rolling around on the floor, I was running around panicked and my husband was trying his best to calm me down. Glad you survived the Vicodin, and that you're still with us. :)

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  17. Glad you're back Kathryn. I, myself, love to be in control :) ~ Beautiful images xx

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  18. You captured the feeling so well... though sorry you had this experience. xo

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