where I first found myself floored
reeling from the impact of a
ten ton truck
'X' marks the spot
where my heart was torn open
while others stood by
watching helplessly
'X' marks the spot
where hands closed around my throat
choking the air
from my burning lungs
'X' marks the spot
but there's no treasure
no matter how deep I dig
watching helplessly
'X' marks the spot
where hands closed around my throat
choking the air
from my burning lungs
'X' marks the spot
but there's no treasure
no matter how deep I dig
just an emptiness, a gaping wide hole
of the sting, a sting I selfishly give thanks for
'X' marks the spot
of the sting, a sting I selfishly give thanks for
that's easier to recover from
than being
scraped up off the floor
heartbroken
or suffocated
than being
scraped up off the floor
heartbroken
or suffocated
'X' marks the spot
of grief that still cuts deep
yet reminds me of how much
I love you
of the man that could have been
should have been
would have been
you
Linking up with the poets at d'Verse
I love you
'X' marks the spot
of the man that could have been
should have been
would have been
you
Linking up with the poets at d'Verse
Oh, My God, this has me in tears.
ReplyDeleteSorry Susan, it's been ten years since my dad passed away but there are days when it feels like just yesterday.
DeleteWow, this is powerful writing. Nothing euphemistic here. Breathtaking.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary. The year before my father died of cancer I found myself writing poetry. When he passed away I just couldn't seem to write it anymore. Gradually though I've found my way back to it through writing and blogging. It's a great form of expression.
DeleteAs said above heartbreaking... and that end... wow
ReplyDeleteThank you Bjorn, not a day goes by when I don't miss him.
DeleteA heartfelt poem. >KB
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteKathryn, this just gave me the chills. Reading it as it was created so many images/stories in my mind, that your comments sorted through. Just such a powerful poem and digs deep into the reality of loss.
ReplyDeleteThank you, it depicts some of the stages of grief I experienced after my fathers death.
ReplyDeleteWow, KDD, I was gripped and terrified. What a moving poem, and what an effective form too.
ReplyDeleteechoing what I said to Mary - grim bunch are we... here's a post I penned awhile back, on my own dad's passing: http://exitonpch.blogspot.com/2012/03/last.html
ReplyDelete~ M
Sorry to hear of your dad's passing and the experience you write about is heartbreaking.
DeleteAgain, I sit in amazement at your ability to capture the dark emotions - in this case, the overpowering and suffocating nature of grief.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brenda, it seems to be that time of year. Need to try and lighten and brighten things up around here so that's it's not always so dark and depressing.
DeleteYou've invited us in to share your grief--and one would have to be senseless to remain unmoved. Powerful, gripping writing, very well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you Nico for such a lovely comment.
DeleteOh! That is powerful and sad... pain gleaming through every single word.
ReplyDeleteGrief has a way of becoming a part of you.
DeleteWow... this is gripping!
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie
Deletestrong write...i like the refrain of X marks the spot as that brings us back after each stanza....the pain and....the reminding me why i love you....such strong emotions in it...easy to feel...powerful piece...
ReplyDeleteIncredibly brilliant writing.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you created your imagination into a poetic format.
Bravo!
Thank you, poetry is so cathartic.
DeleteExceptional, like your devices and the repetition. It was well written and well received. Quite powerful!
ReplyDeleteThank you . . . I have no idea about styles and formats for poetry so your comment means a lot.
DeleteThis is so good. Well done, finely crafted and entirely heartbreakingly good.
ReplyDeleteSuch a visceral description of losing someone dear, and yet there is an ambiguity about it too, with the final 'would have been, could have been, should have been' repetition. Wonderful, very emotional!
ReplyDeleteThank you, I miss my father every day.
DeleteMissing people I your lives never seems to leave us. Sometimes grief is more bearable, but
ReplyDelete'missing' them never goes away. Tearing write here, well done and moving.
So very true . . . the grief does become more bearable but the 'missing' is always with us.
Deleteour lifelong need to discover is a spot with an "x" we all share...as evidenced by the chorus of comments that i am late joining. this is just great.
ReplyDeleteThank you honey for your lovely comment.
DeleteKathryn so beautiful it did move me as i lost my dad in January and still a little raw , constructed with feeling and a long hope
ReplyDeleteThanks Chris. So sorry to hear that your dad passed away. Losing those we love can be so hard. Hugs. x
Deleteoh heck kathryn..that made me hold my breath... intense and powerful emotions..
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly how I feel. I lost my own dad in the summer. It's raw, raw,raw. A very written-piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry, I didn't mean to add salt to your wound. Hugs xoxo
Deletethis is so heartfelt and well... felt. xoxo
ReplyDelete